Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Run New York, run!

The running regulations of NYC are little known outside the city, but rigidly adhered to by its residents.

The regulations:
1. Residents who live South of 30th Street, West of 6th Avenue, are aged 25 to 45, and have a BMI of 18-25 you are legally required to move at pace up and down the Hudson River Park twice a week.
a) Residents with a BMI over 25 will be required to go for a week each year. (They're the ones who look like they only run for a week a year).
b) Residents with a BMI below 18 must go twice a day, to show the rest of NY how it's done.

2. Running and cycling are the designated modes of movement.
a) Speed walking or buggy-pushing is an acceptable alternative but you must provide a Doctor's note proving your inability to run.
b) Wild cards can be purchased at Lottery stores allowing you the chance to win a week of inline skating or funcycle rights.

3. Adherence to the regulations is governing by the Hudson River Park police. They are an elite squad of runner watchers, and will stamp your 'I've run' docket, for audit purposes.

Given the hordes of people lolloping around Central Park I assume a similar scheme is in force Uptown. The running police haven't found me yet... yet another reason to avoid NY residency status...

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