Just a regular bucket of Joe

In London when I meet someone for a coffee, I order an americano. My coffee arrives in an oversized tea cup, is good and strong, and I drink it sitting down. Usually at a table. Simple.

Here in the country which presumably invented the americano, it is not so simple.

I learnt this the first time I innocently said 'yes' to TLOML's suggestion that we 'go and grab a coffee'.

My americano arrived in a paper cup the size of a bucket. And then TLOML lead the way out of the Coffee Bean, to walk slowly down the street. I was confused... and then aghast.

I am not used to the American tradition of walking with a coffee, I just can't do it. I'm too malcoordinated to walk and sip. Especially when I'm drinking from an enormous paper bucket.

As I result I learned that, when TLOML asks what I wanted to drink, I need first to ask him 'are we walking?' If we are walking, I'll have a shot of espresso which I can neck while he stirs his sugar into his latte. Only if we are sitting do I dare to order a longer drink.

But which longer drink? No more horrid weak americanos for me. I might as well be at a coffee morning drinking Nescafe red mug. And the size: 12oz of coffee is the norm here - 3/4 of a pint. It's too much!

My solution is to order a double espresso with a splash of water. Which makes me sound like a bit of a fusspot. And to make myself sound even more of a tosser, I have to put on a bad American accent so that I am understood, and request a 'double expresso, splash of warduh'.

Still, I stood with a colleague ordering coffee at the Big Corp cafeteria today. He asked for a large coffee, half decaf, half regular, and ice on the side. I don't feel so silly anymore...