Saturday, January 28, 2012

Craig's List Crazies

TLOML and I have entered the twilight world of Craig's List. No, not the swingers section. The section for people who are leaving town and want to make a few dollars selling the stuff which isn't worth packing.

We did this once before, when we left Malibu for New York. Maybe I'm looking back with rose-tinted glasses (as I often do) on our Malibu experience, but I don't remember there being nearly so many crazies out there in SoCal.

The Big Apple is a different story. Well over half the New Yorkers who respond to Craig's List have abandoned the use of sentences all together. If they're really advanced they string a couple of text symbols together, to make a phrase like 'U still wan2 sell?'. One word emails like 'interested', 'yes', or '$50' (in response to an ad for something we've listed at $100) clutter my inbox. At first I'd reply in sentences, in an attempt to educate these chumps. But they didn't play the game, and kept coming back with their strangely abrupt emails.

My new rule is not to respond at all to people who don't write in sentences. They don't deserve it and I don't need the money that badly. Their loss is Goodwill's gain.

Of the New York Craig's Listers who can write in sentences, half of them are basically idiots with no spatial reasoning or common sense. (And this is coming from someone who has pretty limited spatial reasoning.) But what kind of fool thinks they can get a 2.5' x 2' x 5' chest of drawers in the back seat of a NY cab? Or that they can take a desk home on the subway?
I would love to meet the NY cab driver who'll pick you up on the street with this item

The desk guy was actually my favourite loonie. He was without a doubt the flakiest person I have ever met. After a barrage of flakey emails he finally showed up to buy the desk he had told us was 'just what I'm looking for'. He admired it, opened and shut the drawers, and stroked the veneer.

Then he stepped back and said. 'The thing is, I haven't really thought this through. Like I don't know if it will actually fit. I guess I should measure the space I have for it.'

We concurred. He went on to say, 'I could just take it. It'd probably be fine. Only, I was thinking I could take it on the subway but I guess that would be kinda awkward.'

It would be. The nearest subway is a fifteen minute walk away. The desk does not have castors.

Again, we concurred. TLOML pointed out the U-haul over the road. 'Oh, do you think they have someone who will drive for me?' said the muppet.

Hmmm. Last we checked U-haul don't offer a chauffeur service, no. At this point, TLOML was at his wits end, but I was starting to warm to this poor, hapless boy.

The hapless one admitted, 'You know, I guess I didn't really prepare for any of this. [exaggerated sigh]'. And we showed him the door.

Fortunately for every 3 crazies, muppets and flakes, there is 1 solid person who shows up with the cash and transportation. Some of them have nice stories or a firm handshake or both. They restore our faith. And they fill up our little Craig's List bounty envelope. Hopefully it will stand us a good NY strip steak before we leave.


  1. We had a terrible time trying to sell our car before we left the UK. I still have nightmares about it! The flakes and the fraudsters...
    at least yours sound inept rather than evil!

  2. Well, we thought they were fairly benign but discovered, on counting our cash yesterday, that one of them had paid us with a counterfeit $20. Annoying!

  3. There's also the one who wanted me to meet him on a train between Hartford and New Haven for my $40 set of speakers. Or the one who had to pay by check because she was deaf.

  4. I am chuckling at that chump that wanted to meet at New Haven station. These people...!