Nights in the UK: 30
Days with rain: At least 20. But, as ever during an English summer, it didn't matter one bit.
Visitors to Saltburn: 11. That's right, lucky old us, eleven lovely friends made the schlep to come and hang out in our little holiday house by the seaside. Combined with the handful of friends we caught up with in London, and our brilliant family weekend, and almost daily contact with my sister and her crew, this made for a very highly peopled and really very very happy holiday.
Lady P's always assumes people are thrilled to see her, wherever she is, as she rushes about shouting 'HI!'. In the case of a transatlantic flight, or our presence in the airport lounge, this isn't the case. But in the case of the many days spent with friends and family, it was always true. Her sense of self-worth is at an all time high.
% of washes we messed up because we couldn't understand the washing machine: 30. Yes, one in three. I guess TLOML may have a point about all those symbols - and I have clearly been out of the country too long, for I was as clueless as an American about it all.
Nights we had curry for dinner: 4. Which is 13% of our total dinner consumption. On reflection maybe we should have had curry a couple more times. Still, we enjoyed getting reacquainted with a couple of favourite curry houses.
Days without consuming alcohol: 3. I think. But it might only be 2.
Days during which I took any meaningful exercise: 7. Which is pisspoor, especially combined with all those curries, not to mention vast quantities of proper cheese, bread and butter. And leads me nicely to...
Pounds I think I probably gained, and quickly need to shed: somewhere between 7 and 14. At a guess. I have decided not to find out for sure.
Outfit changes required due to uncontrollable, um, bodily eruptions during our 10 hour flight home: for Lady P, 4. For me, 2. To be clear, I wasn't the one doing the clothes soiling.
Hours early Lady P arose today: 2.5. Which, given she just covered an eight hour time difference is not bad. Although it does mean I got up at 4am.