What are you getting your dog for Valentine's Day?

I saw this sign outside a petshop today. FYI this is one of two petshops on this block, and one of about a hundred within a five block radius.


Only in New York, I think, would this not be considered weird. Possibly only in Chelsea, dog poo capital of Manhattan.

Trust me, they are not kidding. These pet crazy luvvies really do think you should treat your dog to a shampoo on Valentine's Day. Just so it knows you care. As if following it around picking up (if we're lucky) its poo or dressing it in one of those ridiculous-but-cute little designer jackets isn't a powerful enough indication of your affection.

Going on the list of things we will not miss about NY? Chelsea dog poo. But I will miss the snigger-inducing pet shops, and the pampered pooches in their snazzy outfits.

Do dogs even like icecream?

I found further evidence of the canine craziness that grips New York when I passed this pet shop yesterday. They were hosting an icecream social. For dogs.

We don't really have ice cream socials in England, so I was puzzled. But too busy picking my jaw up off the floor and taking that picture to ask them what it was.

Thanks to wikipedia I now know it that it is pretty much as it says on the tin: a party where you eat icecream.

So let me spell it out for you. This petshop was hosting a party for dogs, during which they serve the dogs icecream. And they had guests! People were actually there hanging out while their dogs ate icecream.

Clearly the heat has gone to everyone's heads.

Dogs at work

'Toy poodle service dog!' spluttered TLOML. (At least as far as you can splutter in a text.) 'Put that in your blog and smoke it'.

Allow me to explain.

In Britain, there are five main service sectors in which dogs find gainful employment:

1. Guide Dogs for the Blind - self explanatory, this one
2. Hearing Dogs for the Deaf - pretty much does what it says on the tin
3. Sheepdogs - used to round up sheep and perform in sheepdog trials
4. Police Dogs - used to scare May Day protestors, sniff out drugs, and bite the arm of their handler in a display session
5. Guard Dogs - loud barking dogs that look like they might bite. The reason the postman puts all your post in next door's letter box. Prominently featured on gate signs.

Guide dog

Sheep dog

Police dog

In America, Service Dogs  also exist and find employment in those sectors. Good, hard working American dogs.

There's another working dog sector which gets TLOML all foamy at the mouth: service dogs for the depressed, sad, lonely, or just a bit gloomy-feeling.

If you can get a doctor who will sign off the fact that the treatment for your depression is a chiuaua you carry in your handbag, said chiuaua can live with you in an animal free building, and travel with you unleashed on a flight (while all the non-working dogs stay in cages in the hold).

Now I don't mean to sound unsympathetic. Depression is a serious, debilitating condition. A good companion antidepressant dog must be a real blessing for sufferers.

But a yappy little toy dog, with barely room in its skull for a single brain cell? Really?!

Unlikely service dog

You couldn't get away with it on the NHS. Just sayin'...

Chelsea Dog Show

When I walk out of the front door of Rabbit Hutch Towers, there are usually one or two dogs outside the building. They're usually also, by the way, pretty cute. By the time I reach the end of the block, I'll have passed another half a dozen. And in the space of a ten minute walk, I'll probably pass thirty dogs. Here in Chelsea they are typically nice looking dogs, often sporting a natty little dog jacket, or at least a stylish collar and lead.

I'd say on average, for every two people, I see one dog. I wanted to take photos of them all. I had in mind an experiment where I took a photo of every dog I saw within one block of our place. But TLOML's camera is on the blink so that will have to wait.

Instead here is some more evidence of canine population density:

This is a map of my immediate neighbourhood, roughly a 10-15 minute radius around Rabbit Hutch Towers. Every red dot on this map is a pet shop. Allow me to count them for you.

 Twenty two. That's right, there are 22 pet shops within a ten minute walk from my front door.

This is a shop down the road in the West Village, which is run by a lady who paints pet portraits. And that is her business. Incredible. I get that someone could make a nice supplementary income painting pet portraits, sure. But enough to run an actual shop off the back of it? They wouldn't buy it on Dragon's Den (aka Shark Tank in the US), that's for sure.

And yet right here in New York, where apartments are famously miniscule and shop rents presumably pretty damn high, there are enough pet dogs to make Mimi's shop a perfectly viable business.

So my question of the day is, given that people are living in rabbit hutches, where on earth do all these dogs live?

I know of a luxury building (in MiMA funnily enough) where they have a dog gym complete with treadmill. Perhaps New York's dirty dog secret is a large battery-hen-style facility where all these dogs live, being picked up to parade through Chelsea once a day. If not, perhaps that will be my Dragon's Den idea... there's definitely a market for it.