Goodbye London, Hello America

We got it! We got the Green Card! I aced the test. Fully prepared for a full Mr and Mrs-style quiz, I was disappointed only to be asked a couple of questions about TLOML’s family – where they live, how many siblings he has, that kind of thing. Easy.

Perhaps TLOML didn’t share my confidence, as he actually stepped forward to answer the first question himself.

‘Where in the States is your husband from?’ asked the officer.

‘Well, I’m originally from –’ TLOML began, until I interrupted him with a sharp dig in the ribs.

‘I think the question is for me, darling’, I said.

The officer chuckled and I think pretty much got his big ‘DEFINITELY MARRIED’ stamp out there and then. It didn’t even matter if I got the answer right, there was something in the way I cut my husband down that demonstrated beautifully the strength of our relationship. (Also I suspect having your baby with you helps. Plenty of people get married just for a visa, but I don’t think anyone goes through pregnancy, childbirth and parenthood to secure a Green Card.)

We celebrated with an expensive Mayfair hotel bar lunch. Lady P especially enjoyed depositing mashed up banana and semi-masticated breadsticks on their leather chairs and clean carpet. And then we hit the road north, before they could issue us a bill for carpet cleaning, leaving London for the last time until we fly out to LA.

Fittingly our last weekend in London was spent staying in my old manor, in Lady P’s godfather’s NW5 flat. So TLOML reignited his relationship with Chicken Shop and E.Mono, and we had a good afternoon with old friends at a quality NW5 boozer. I also managed to squeeze in a little drinkin’ and dancin’ with my Wondertwin at an old friend’s 40^th, in a brilliant old pub in Kensal Rise. On the way home she wrangled with the taxi driver to put Magic on, which reminded me, hazily, of many nights out in our misspent youth. All in all it was a very good reminiscipackage of a weekend.

Good job we got the Green Card. It would have been a bit embarrassing to have to tell everyone we said goodbye to that ‘we’re still here’. As it is we can fly out to LA in a couple of weeks feeling like we gave London a decent farewell.

American teeth for an American life

My festive frenzy - I do so love 'the holidays' - is heightened this year by a fever pitch of excitement. Our time in limbo is almost over. I have a job offer confirmed from Big Corp, to start on 1st Feb. And we have our Green Card interview on 6th Jan - which will hopefully be a Depardieu/McDowell style 'Mr and Mrs' quiz. I'll ace it. I know everything about how he likes his coffee and what colour his toothbrush is. Easy.

So this move is no longer hypothetical. In between wrapping presents and taking Lady P to the crib service, and gazing longingly at the gingerbread house (one more day till we can break in!) we are booking flights, and cancelling Virgin Media, and scheduling movers.

We started talking about this move almost six months ago, so I've had plenty of time to reach an accommodation with the idea of our new (or revisited) life in California. It now feels like it's been a long time coming. And I'm ready. I'm ready to stop living in limbo. I'm very ready to live in the same timezone in which TLOML works. I'm ready to be reunited with the blue skies and palm trees of Los Angeles. And I'm ready to become a good American wife.

I know I'm ready because I've got the teeth to prove it. My invisalign treatment is complete. The last step was a whitening treatment through which my dentist promised to make my teeth shiny and brightly white. 'How white?' I asked. 'European white,' he answered. 'Don't worry, I won't make you look like Simon Cowell'.

In the cold grey light of Yorkshire I think this was the right choice. They look like the nice, straight, white teeth an American wife should have. I only hope my Californian friends, colleagues and neighbours will agree. I'm ready to go native. Bring on 2014 - a new year, a new life, with my new teeth.

Visa surprise

The US visa process is really weird. I don’t know quite what the USICS are playing at. First of all, they publish quite clear timeframes within which each stage should happen. Secondly, they stick to them. What's more, they provide checklists so there's no confusion or doubt about what documents are required (thus avoiding the Brazilian passport notarization fiasco of last year's visa shambles).

We are moving towards Green Card status at pace, and after last year’s trials it is quite a surreal experience.

Not only is it faster, and clearer, it’s also a heck of a lot more thorough. I am required to have up-to-date vaccinations, a clean bill of health and a clear criminal record. At the moment I’m busily getting police records, updated vaccinations and medicals.

The visa paper mountain continues to grow

By contrast the UK visa process TLOML went through last year seems flimsy and arbitrary. He could have been a disease-ridden vagabond and still be let in. And yet we had to provide reams of evidence of the validity of our relationship, not to mention the deeds to my father’s house (despite demonstrating that we amply met the income requirements and would therefore be renting a home of our own).

Once we’d decided to move, we wanted to do it straight away. But that was never going to happen. Instead, this steady, predictable pace feels just right. We see enough progress to keep us happy that we’re moving forward – unlike the months we spent in limbo last year. And at the moment it looks as if I’ll be a Green Card carrying spouse by the end of the year. This should neatly coincide with the start of my new job with my old Big Corp team in the US.

It also means we can have Christmas in Yorkshire, which makes me very happy. It all feels rather too good to be true.

Life in limbo

We're in limbo again. Waiting for a visa, would you believe. We had thought Big Corp would give us a fast, easy route back to the US. My old boss there was eager to re-hire me, it was just a matter of formalising the role and then the Big Corp machine would start rolling to secure me an L1 work visa, which should take five or six weeks. Two months after we agreed that course of action, the Big Corp machine hasn't even started rolling. There's a lot of talk of HR people not returning calls, role profiles not being approved, and generally things that need to happen not happening. Rest assured, my US boss says, it will happen. But no-one seems to be in any hurry.

Meanwhile we've decided to apply for a Green Card. This is the long-term solution anyway as it means my time in the US won't be tied to my fortunes at Big Corp. We had hoped to put it off till we'd been married two years, as that way you get a permanent Green Card rather than one with a 2 year renewal requirement built in. And presumably they don't ask you how your spouse likes their coffee, once you've been married a couple of years. But we don't want to wait. So we've filed our I-130 and are just hoping that the US immigration bureaucracy is not as Kafka-esque as the UK Border Agency. Also, scarred by last year's experience, this time we're paying an immigration lawyer to fill in and file the forms.

Finger crossed either an L1 visa or a Green Card are produced soon, and we can get out to the West Coast and begin the next chapter.

What's the rush? Well, primarily because TLOML's business needed him to be out there about a year ago. Every month we're here is another month working weird hours and not seeing his clients as frequently as he should.

Also, life in limbo is trying. Although I'd like to live in the lovely bubble that is Saltburn for ever, now we've decided we're moving back to the US I just want to get on with it. The sooner we get out there, the sooner I can start my grieving process and we can get settled into a new cosy rut and routines.

Plus being here temporarily means we make lots of short-term arrangements that won't work long-term. Like the fact my office is in London and I now have to commute to work. That's fine for a month or two but I can't stand it for much longer. We only have part-time childcare, thinking we can fill the gaps between us as we both work from home. Again, not really tenable in the long-term. Not knowing how long we'll be here makes it hard to commit to things like block-booked yoga classes, and large quantities of spices for the larder. And if I'd know we'd be here so long maybe I would have unpacked my beloved books which have loomed in a tower of boxes in the corner of our dining room since April.

Library in limbo

Okay, it's not disastrously difficult but just nigglingly annoying. Still, the upside is that I get to enjoy life in Saltburn for longer. And,a bit like all our 'last ever date night' date nights before Lady P came along, not knowing when we'll leave makes us savour it all that little bit more.