Stay young and beautiful

...if you want to be loved, as the song goes. Or, if you want to be socially acceptable, as is the case in Los Angeles. The pressure is on, in this shallow city, to look good.

Hermosa Beach and the surrounding towns of the South Bay don't have it so bad. I'm sure plenty of Hermosan women get a little help from botox and fillers, but you don't see anything like the volume of frozen faces and implausible boobs that you do in, say, Beverly Hills. I think that's because our vibe down here is all beachy, and casual, and natural beauty is part of that.

Still, 'natural' beachy beauty might mean no surgery but it for sure doesn't mean no effort. The weather and the lifestyle here mean you're always at risk of having to wear shorts or a bikini. That's why wannabe hardbodies like me spend so much time in places like this...

If you'd told my London self I'd EVER join a gym, let alone one like this, I'd have laughed into my pint of bitter

...doing things like this...

I pay good money to do this several times a week. It's a must.

Because it turns out the beach-ready, 'sure let's have a playdate by your pool' look takes a lot of work.

Almost everyone around here looks like they work out constantly. They probably do.

And it doesn't end there. In case just working out and the odd injectible isn't enough. there's Cryotherapy. It's a whole body deep freeze for 50 quid a pop and I think it promises everlasting life. Seriously, can you believe I have a local Crypotherapy place? And that they sell a monthly membership where you can go once a day?! Even better, on Main Street (actually Pier Ave, but same diff), a new IV place just opened up. That's right, you can go - like any washed up celeb with a show to do, or perhaps just before a big event at your child's school - and get all pumped full of vitamins and stuff.

It may not be Beverly Hills but the good(looking) people of Hermosa Beach go to great lengths to stay young and beautiful. I just hope I can keep up.