A Sophisticated Snoop

My appetite for a bit of real estate porn was fully satisfied this weekend. And instead of flicking through DIGS magazine, I actually got inside these fabulous homes, for real. This is the Manhattan Beach Sophisticated Snoop, in which a handful of mucky-mucks with incredible homes open them to the riff raff. It's sort of like the London Open House weekend only you don't need to feel obliged to visit cultural or historical sites. This was pure and simple gawking.

I thought I would end the Snoop burning with desire and envy. But it turns out I didn't love any of these fancy pants houses. The sexy, industrial style, modernist house was my favourite but I soon dismissed it as not family friendly - too many dark rooms and sharp edges. The contemporary home on a walkstreet was gorgeous but definitely short on storage.

The 'Mediterranean masterpiece' was vast and gorgeous and also a bit much. There was a craft room, full of jars of perfectly coiled ribbon. A 'bake station' room lined with spotless jars of sugar sprinkles. It was creepy. And everything in it, including the laundry room, and the fridge doors, was 'Old World' Spanish style. Which feels odd in the South Bay in 2014. An apothecary jar full of Bounty sheets? That's just silly.

The other homes were just your typical, nicely decorated, well planned, spacious, $3m houses. Very nice and all that, but they left me a bit cold. Maybe that's just post-rationalisation, since aren't in the market for a big flash house just yet. Still, I enjoyed the snooping.

Lady P also had a good time. She rubbed her sweet little face on various expensive furnishings and tried to open a few drawers and cupboards she really didn't ought to. She also employed her new, comical, hands-behind-the-back walk, which made her look like she was really sizing these places up. So we all enjoyed that.

And TLOML? When we set out on the Snoop he told me he was looking for two things: elevators and stripper poles. We didn't see any stripper poles. But two of the homes we saw had elevators, which gave rise to a satisfied little chuckle. And he would have moved into the Mediterranean masterpiece tomorrow. He wasn't so fussed about the rest.

For what it's worth, the Sugar Cube house is single storey. No elevator required. We may not make the cut for the Snoop, but I still think it's the perfect home.